The Year After
by RedAlice42
Summary: The year after the war both Hermione and Pansy head back to Hogwarts to finish their senior year. Once there they discover that they both will mean more to each other than they could have imagined. HermionexPansy
1. Chapter 1

She had been relieved when it was all over, when they said all was well. But in the months following the war she had come to find that only half of her relief was rightfully felt. The muggles had a saying; history is written only by the victors and in Pansy's case she had come to find herself living those words despite her prior thinking it was impossible to trust in a muggle statement. It wasn't that Pansy was a loser per say in the war, she hadn't even fought, hadn't taken a side, just spoken two words which seemed to condemn her to an eternity of words being spoken about her. But more than that, more than her own actions, there were the colors that she had worn the day of the great battle. The muggles were right but they had left out a crucial detail; history in her case had been written by those in red, silver, and gold, not any of those in green. Pansy glanced down at those colors now, brightly splayed across her black robes. She remembered the first time she came home with those colors, the snake emblem pressed onto her chest, her mother had touched her heart and her father had stood from the table to applaud her shouting "theres my girl!" Then came the following years when she was so proud of those robes, her house, her colors. But now she sat alone in a train compartment with her book bag pressed firmly against her breasts just in case. Just in case someone walked by her window and caught a flash of green, looked in closer and saw the girl, that bitch as she had been called time and again, that bitch who tried to turn in The Chosen One to the Dark Lord.

Not that Pansy had raised particular objection to any of the words or judgements. She was that girl and she had always been. She had mercilessly taunted her classmates, threatened Potter, supported Umbridge, and thrown around racial slurs especially at Granger. The mentioned girl had been consistently on her mind since Pansy had discovered she too would be returning for her seventh year at Hogwarts. Pansy had attended Hogwarts her seventh year but under the Carrows she had done more brute work as opposed to take classes. Unsurprisingly most Slytherins failed out that year due to lack of credits but Pansy was one of the few who had decided to return. Some of her friends had told her they would come when things were settled, when the memories dissipated and the world didn't want to burn Slytherin wizards and witches at the stake. But Pansy had suspected that none of them would be over the trauma, she doubted even their children would really be able to evade it. Terror doesn't just fade, not like hope does. Pansy thought to a degree all her generation had lived with hope, and for that they had died with certainty. Maybe if the world had less hope, maybe if people were as quick to raise their wands to the defense of their fellow students as opposed to a boy no one had ever quite trusted they would all still be alive. Life, hope, thats all Pansy wanted, now she had just one of those things.

That wasn't to say Pansy didn't regret what she had done. There wasn't a day that wasn't possessed by a _what if._ What if she hadn't yelled to grab Potter? What if she hadn't pointed in his direction? But in order for that _what if_ to exist there would have to have been a series of _what ifs_ preceding it. What if Pansy hadn't demeaned Hermione? What if she hadn't taunted classmates? What if she hadn't joined the Inquisitors? What if she hadn't been in love with Draco? What if she had never been sorted into Slytherin? The last one though was a dream, and the scenario before it...well she wasn't even sure she ever had been in love with Draco. But what if she hadn't thought she was? But then again, thought Pansy, regretting the outcome of an action and regretting the action itself were two different things completely and she wasn't sure which side of the line she came down on. She had of course, allowed herself to wander into the future with her _what if_ game. What if this year she could be resorted? What if this year she made friends, real friends? What if Hermione forgave her?

Out of all the things that she had done, it was her actions and words to Hermione which she had regretted the most. She read once that the name Hermione meant well-born, or a stone, immovable. It was fairly obvious to her what Pansy meant - coward. Hermione was what Pansy thought she could be have been had she been given a different name or born into a different family or just been a different person all together. In other words, Hermione was what Pansy everything she wanted to be and was simultaneously everything she couldn't be. For that she had hated her all throughout their years of school.

She had practiced an apology. She had practiced re-introducing herself. She had practiced just acting casual. But what she hadn't practiced for was Hermione walking straight past her on the train, followed by a group of adoring sixth years, without recognition. She didn't even falter in her saunter to her cabin, it was as if Pansy didn't exist and consequently all her mistakes hadn't existed either. So Pansy slumped to the cabin at the end of the carriage alone. She hadn't expected to make a friend out of Granger, but an acquaintance would have been nice. Someone she knew, someone she could stand next to, someone she hadn't tortured, someone who had one day in fifth year helped her find a book in the library.

But Granger seemed not to need Pansy as much as Pansy needed her.

Once they exited the train Pansy looked around again for Hermione but failed to see her.

"Hey!" A girl shouted behind her. Pansy felt fingers brush the back of her robes and she spun to see two students facing her. Judging by their appearance Pansy thought they looked like seventh years. They had that familiar confidence she had felt at the end of sixth year and expected to again feel once seventh year started, but instead when she walked into the great hall she had just felt afraid.

"Hello?" The same girl speaks again and snaps her fingers in front of her face.

"What do you want?"

 _Fuck she was supposed to be making friends not_ being _rude._

The girl in front of her smirks. "You're Pansy Parkinson right?"

Pansy glanced cautiously at the girls blue and silver tie. _Ravenclaw._

"I'm Phae." The girl says before Pansy can speak again. "And this is Rowena." She motions to the shorter girl next to her. Pansy notices the snake emblem on her chest. "Do you want to ride with us to the castle?"

Pansy sucks in air. Normally she would have laughed and twirled on her feet to go find Draco. Normally she would have hexed the girls later in the year or thrown food at them in the great hall. But this year wasn't normal.

"Sure." She smiles.

The two girls climb into a carriage and Pansy follows behind them. A third year Slytherin attempts to follow them up the steps of the carriage but Phae reaches past Pansy and pushes him off the steps. His back hits the mud with a sick thump and the carriage pulls off.

"Shit is he okay?" Pansy watches the boy on the ground disappear as they ride.

Rowena laughs. "Funny."

Pansy lifts her eyebrows. "That's an odd thing to say."

Phae glances at Pansy with the familiar smirk again. "I didn't really want to be friends with you but Rowena convinced me you're like the symbol of slytherin or something."

"I don't know what that means." Pansy rolls her eyes. Two weird girls obsessed with the battle, no doubt. "But anyways I don't know anything about that night if that's what you want..."

"We were there too." Rowena states in a monotone voice. "We know what happened."

"I thought none of the Slytherins went back to fight."

"Phae did though."

Rowena smiles at this and it's the first time Pansy has seen her teeth fully. It strikes Pansy that Rowena is exceptionally pretty when she smiles, though oddly enough when she doesn't it's like there's something too... _off_ about her for her to be pretty.

Pansy looks at Rowena. "What the fuck is this?" She demands. "If this is some prank because of what I said that night..."

"Prank. Why would we be pranking you?" Asks Phae

"I'm a slytherin too." Rowena speaks.

"Well you two seem awfully intent on talking about that night."

"You're the one who brought it up." Phae interrupts.

Pansy opens her mouth hoping for some snarky reply to grace her lips but the carriage stops abruptly.

"We're here!" Phae shouts leaping up. "See you around Pansy."

"Yeah." Pansy mumbles under her breath.

She watches the two girls disappear into the crowd, following from behind.

There's something to her, Pansy thinks to herself. Not, Phae, that girl just seems blatantly weird. But Rowena, the one who barely spoke. There's something far too off about her. But before she can think about the encounter further she is being ushered into the great hall by professors.

Of course, she had people to sit with in the great hall. That was always one of the worst and the best things about Hogwarts. You never sat alone. Terrible, if you wanted _some fucking peace_ as she had said to Goyle one day, but relieving on those days when Draco seemingly disappeared and Crabbe and Goyle were completely uninterested in sitting anywhere near her. The three only tolerated each other as a group with Draco as their head, but once he was gone they had no bond. On those days Pansy quite liked the great hall. She always had someone at dinner to talk to. She always had her house, her family. Pansy folded her arms and stared at the food on her plate. Now she wasn't sure she wanted any of it, the food or the family. Across the hall she spotted Granger who seemed to be in the exact opposite position as herself. She was desperately trying to steal bites of food during the multiple conversations people were attempting to have with her, bombarding her with questions. A fifth year had even pulled out a small black rectangular sort of box thing which Hermione seemed to operate with ease, smiling into the back of it's leather case. _Must be muggle tech._ The rest of the dinner went rather quickly. Pansy didn't hear much of Mcgonagall's speech about how honored she was to be the new headmaster and how it was going to be the best year ever or she assumed it had gone something like that. She had no interest in listening to Mcgonagall drone on and on. Anytime she spoke she just heard her words directed straight at her, _take her to the dungeons. Take all of them to the dungeons._ Pansy screwed with the food on her plate, how could someone like that be the new headmaster?

Pansy found out that the other slytherin students were worried as well. In the dorms that night Pansy heard whispers of whether or not Slytherin as a house would be disbanded. _Were they really thinking of that? What about all the past students?_ Whether the professors and students would decide it was Slytherin's turn to be tortured or even worse killed.

"Calm the hell down." Pansy pressed a pillow into her face at the last one. "You're going way over the top. No one is killing anyone. That's all been done last year or did you miss all the bodies scattered around the great hall?"

The younger students stared at her incredulously.

"You're not worried?" A seventh year with blonde hair cut short spoke.

"Why should I be?" Pansy shrugged and her shoulders moved against the mattress. _She was worried though_.

"I dunno." The girl next to the short haired one spoke. Her voice was high pitched and squeaky. "Out of all of us you should be the most worried."

Pansy jolted up in her bed. "Is that what you all think?"

The girls just looked at each other.

"Well they let me back into this school didn't they?" Pansy sneered. "I didn't go fight with the Dark Lord like, for example, your brother did Aria." She glared at the short haired girl.

Aria blushed and looked down at her hands. "Least he stood for something."

"Yeah well what's worse? Standing against the right or standing for wrong?"

"And which one of those did you do?" Arias voice is measured. Her eyes trail across Pansy's bed, who remains silent. "I guess we'll see Parkinson. We'll see what happens."

"They do what they do to me." She retorts. And then just to herself, just to the darkness she whispers, "deservedly."


	2. Chapter 2

**Pansy First Person POV**

Nothing had happened to me and barely anyone had said anything either. There were rude looks and whispers accompanied by giggling behind my back but luckily enough my mean-streak reputation had inspired in people enough fear that no one approached me. The downside was that I had still yet to make any friends. Phae was in three of my classes and Granger was unsurprisingly in all of them. I had expected this dilemma knowing we would both be attempting to meet the same requirements this year. But despite my preparations I still held my breath as I walked through the door to each class just in case Granger heard me, turned her head, and saw me. Granger always sat in the first row which was originally where I always liked to sit, but in this case I figured it best to avoid the seats next to Granger, or just avoid seeing her all together. I was sure she had seen me though. I mean she had to have noticed me. But she never gave any indication to recognizing me. At one point I had contemplated just standing up in class and screaming at her. It was unbearable, her ignoring me, at least if she had said something, anything even if it was harsh, I would know what she was thinking. But she never spoke, never looked my way, and didn't even flinch when I answered a question in class.

For potions today I slide into her usual seat in the back. Phae had made it a habit of sitting next to me, which somehow managed to make potions even worse. It wasn't that Phae was awful or terrible or mean or even too talkative. It was just that when she did speak it's with that familiar tint of an emotion and a state she would rather never hear again. My father speaks like her and so does my mother. At one point in sixth year I had heard the same thing in Draco's voice. But he had lost it almost as soon as his voice had adapted this unknown quality and when he did I stayed up all night crying from relief. A fellow Slytherin had asked why I was upset and I had screamed at her to _go fuck herself I won't do it for you in exchange for your pity._ She had felt bad after saying it but what else could she say? There wasn't really an explanation for what she saw in Phae or briefly in Draco. It was just as if she saw in them the possibility of something unknown. With most people you can imagine their futures, you can think of what they might become, but with Phae it was like there was nothing in that future; just an abyss where I could pour all my imaginings about her, but I knew nothing would ever come of it. I try to avoid speaking to Phae or even seeing her and for the large part I manage to succeed. It helps being in different houses. But at moments where I pass her in the hallway, or when Phae walks with me after class I have to remind myself to breathe and move and blink. It's as if I'm back in Hogwarts the day of the battle, walking through empty corridors approaching where I know I will see the bodies. It's that sensation of dread I feel in Phae's presence. Phae's friend Rowena on the other hand, I had barely seen. And in the instances where I do happen to catch a glimpse of her it's like I'm looking at nothing at all. I asked Phae once if Rowena was sick but she had just stared at me. It was the one time I ever had seen her startled.

"Parkinson!" I snap out of my thoughts and stare at Professor Slughorn blankly. "Thoughts you want to share?"

"No."I bite my lip. I've never liked Slughorn and to a large degree I'm surprised any of the students did. He just seems creepy.

"No what?"

"No I don't want to share my thoughts."

Rowena snickers next to me.

"An apology would be acceptable Pansy." He taps his foot.

I stare back at him. This man is the worst kind of the supposed _good guys_ Hogwarts pretends to have. A man who claims to be perfectly open-minded while at the same time doing it all his way and never listening to anyone else. You can't claim to not be prejudiced if you follow up that argument with _I love muggle-borns._

"Pansy!"

"What?" I sneer.

"Apologize."

"You didn't say it was required."

Slughorn simply glares at me. "You're lucky I don't throw you out of this class this instant."

"And you're lucky I don't report your creepy little club." A few in the class gasp under their breaths. _Spare me._ I think. This man is the last anyone should be outraged for.

"That's enough!" Partner with Granger on this assignment. Maybe she can teach you a few things about _morals_ Miss Parkinson."

At this statement the whole class giggles. Phae remains stoic and for once I feel a rush of gratitude for the girl.

"I don't think…" I begin.

"Now!" I sweep my books off my desk and walk as slowly as I can towards the front. _Fuck._.

"This isn't a good idea." I speak through gritted teeth to Slughorn.

"Nonsense. Miss Granger is perfectly capable of dealing with you." The class laughs at this one and despite my best efforts I blush.

Finally I stop in front of Granger who shows no sign of realizing someone is standing behind her. _Either she completely hates me or it's a miracle she ever survived her adventure with Potter._

I remain awkwardly standing while Slughorn explains the assignment, not listening at all to his words and just staring dumbly at the back of Granger's head.

"Get to it!" Slughorn finishes with a wave of his hand.

I glance hesitantly at Hermione. Her fist is tensed in a ball on the desk and she is visibly leaning away from me. I sit down in my chair and slide my seat away from hers. The scraping noise causes two slytherin boys to look over at us and giggle.

"I see nothing has changed with you." She speaks enunciating the words clearly.

I blink repeatedly at her.

She reaches across my arm and as her hand brushes the fabric on her sweater I jump. She snatches the parchment quickly out from under me and rolls her eyes.

"What are you so jumpy about?" She says sarcastically.

I stares at her for a few moments and she raises her eyebrows in response to my blank stare. But I can't think of a single thing to say to her. All that practicing and imagining and I thought it would be differently. I thought she wouldn't pretend that nothing had ever happened between us, like I hadn't offered Potter up. I could apologize, I could beg her, I knew I had that eloquently prepared. But I had no clue how to have a normal conversation with her. She looks annoyed at my incapacity to speak, and glances at my notebooks.

"You clearly are capable of taking fine notes. Surely you're capable of speaking your thoughts as well as writing them." .

"I can ask to switch partners if you want." I finally breathe out.

"What?"

"You know, like….I can explain everything."

"Explain what?"

"You just don't have to be stuck with me okay." I snap and stands up.

"Sit back down!" She grabs her sweater and pull her into her seat. The boys from slytherin snicker again and this time they are joined by two gryffindors. "Do you make it a goal to be as distracting as possible when you work?"

I sit straight up in her seat. "So you don't want to switch?"

"Of course I do."

"Oh." I feel myself blush underneath my collar.

"But everyone else in this class is a fifth year."

"Oh." I repeat.

"Turn to page 65."

But I'm still focused on her saying she doesn't want to switch so instead of opening the book I just let out another "oh."

"For merlins sake!" She reaches over her again and grab the book. "Weren't you a prefect! Aren't you supposed to be somewhat capable!"

I come to my senses and snatch the book back from me her. "Sorry. I'm fine."

But I'm not fine, and as we work in silence for a few moments all I can think about is how not fine any of this is.

"You don't hate me?" I speak the words under my breath, careful so that the boys behind us don't hear.

"I don't care enough to Pansy." The words strike me and I feel a flush again but this time it's from anger, from her ability to have already move on from all this while all I've been able to do is think about how to make sure I don't have to relive it. All my planning and she couldn't even fucking care enough about me to think what she would say in response to an apology.

But before I can give some snarky reply she speaks again.

"Honestly I was surprised to see you back here. I know a few of slytherin parents wouldn't let their kids come back."

"And you just assumed my family was one of those? Aren't you supposed to be all peace and love or whatever?"

She looks steadily at me. "I was going to say that I was impressed with you coming back here. I can admire dedication to one's studies."

I"m silent, unsure of what to say.

"But that's the only compliment I'm ever going to give you," it's the first harsh thing she's truly said to me and my lungs burn slightly waiting for another but it doesn't come. Instead she continues, "I'm impressed with your coming back, make it worth something and actually _try_ these next few weeks."

"Few weeks?" I question her incredulously.

She sighs and rolls her eyes. "See that's what I'm talking about, if you had paid any attention at all you would know that we've been assigned this round of partners for the rest of the semester."

"And you're fine with that?" I say angrily.

"I don't know what you're so annoyed about, if anything I should be annoyed with you."

"I had a partner…" I mumble.

"You mean Phae?" Granger asks. "You hate her."

"How the hell would you know?"

"Don't take me for an idiot Parkinson." She says sarcastically. "I've noticed how you interact with her."

"Didn't realize you noticed me at all."

She's quiet at this and I allow myself a small smile. "So you care enough to notice I'm here."

"It's relatively impossible not to notice a physical body in a room." She retorts but I just smirk.

"Anyways," she says, "you should stay away from Phae."

"Why?" But somehow I feel like I know the answer. _Dangerous._

But Granger doesn't give any response just leafs through the book. I figure she's reached the end of helping me.

"Let's just get this assignment done." She mumbles.


	3. Chapter 3

The next week goes by relatively quickly. I can't say working with Granger is an experience I enjoy, I'm always far too nervous for that and she's far too hesitant with me to have a real conversation but I don't think we've been as disastrous together as both of us assumed we would be. In fact, Granger even asked me to partner with her in two other classes, citing the fact that the _rest of the class are all as thick as broomsticks_. Anyways, _we're trying to accomplish the same thing,_ _remember?_ I had readily agreed because she was right, despite our history we were the obvious choice for partners. And I couldn't complain as uncomfortable as I was around her she was still incredibly bright. It also helps to get Phae off my back. Though Phae can't seem to go a single day without telling me something horrible about Hermione or making some snarky comment about our partnership. For the most part I avoid Phae but recently she hasn't been as terrible. She's the only one this entire year who has attempted to be my friend and she's stuck up for me a few times in class, against students and even against one particularly obnoxious professor. Anyways, I can't help but always thinking that Phae is the person I would be if the whole Potter extravaganza hadn't plagued my years at Hogwarts. To a degree she interests me because of that, as if I want to see my whole future play out in front of me, just with different possibilities.

This particular night is damp and humid and I can feel both my own sweat and the fog that hangs in the atmosphere stick to my clothing as I fly. I've always been good at flying and in first year I'd even tried out for the Quidditch team. I hadn't made it and in second year I was going to try out again until Draco stood up and announced that his father had bought him and the new team those broomsticks. There were no try outs that year. Draco had apologized to me hundreds of times saying that he thought there would have still been tryouts for my position. I knew he was completely honest and the fact that he was so bothered by it made me feel worse than not actually making the team.

He felt terrible and so did I, but I never tried out again. Somehow, it just would have been embarrassing. But here I am an eighth year student thinking of doing it over, humiliation and all. My father taught me how to fly and whenever I do it I think of him with me in our backyard chasing me around the gardens. My love for my father has been transformed into a profound missing, not for him exactly, but for that very love which he gave me and somehow I know I'll never get again. Maybe that's all this flying is, an attempt to be closer to him, but at the same time there is something else that holds me to flying - my own love for it.

I eventually dismount on the ground and watch the sky for a moment before turning around to head back into the castle. All of a sudden I hear a cry behind me and look back to see a figure approaching.

"I didn't know you flew." Granger's voice rings out.

"Don't all wizards and witches fly?' I ask in monotone.

She laughs softly even though I hadn't meant it to be funny. It somehow calms me, her thinking my words were meant to be light.

"I don't. Hate it."

"Why are you out here then?"

"Oh." She looks surprised I asked that question but I just wrap my arms around my broomstick and wait for her to answer. "It's nostalgic I guess. Makes me remember people and friends and just all of it I guess. All of it before."

She glances cautiously and I nod as if telling her to go on.

"I mean it's better now obviously with Voldemort gone." I flinch at the word but she doesn't seem to notice. "We were just waiting for this all to happen in a way I guess, but still, I just miss those kids in flying class with Madame Pomfret you know? I miss us all like that."

"Reckless." I say raising my eyebrows.

She laughs again and this time I smile.

"I distinctly remember Potter chasing Draco around the entire school over a glass ball."

She shakes her head, "That's what I miss though. When the worse thing Draco could think to do to someone was steal a glass ball and the bravest thing Harry had to do was catch it."

I must be looking at her strangely because she quickly drops her gaze to the ground. "Sorry. Just when we were getting along."

"We still are." She looks up at me and I smile reassuringly.

She looks up at the sky as if remembering that moment from first year and I follow her gaze. We stand there for a few moments just looking up until she breaks the silence.

"We should head back inside." She starts walking but before I can stop myself I blurt out,

"Do you remember the first time you walked in?" I blush when I speak the words and it's her turn to look at me strangely.

"To hogwarts?"

I nod.

"Don't all witches and wizards remember it?" She smiles softly, mimicking my words from before.

"We walked in together." I don't know why I say it and when I do I realize how it sounds - pathetic, strange.

Hermione doesn't seem to know how to respond so she just nods her head.

I'm about to apologize or say something else stupid or just leave but she stops me.

"I told you about the ceiling. Some fact from some book." She shrugs sheepishly. "That's kind of how I make all my friends oddly enough."

I start to smile because she means the last part as a joke, but I falter when I see the recognition of what she just said dawn on her. I replay the sentence in my head and clench my fist. We stand still, the words hanging heavily between us, hinting at some unspoken and obvious truth. _We were the opposite of friends_. And with everything that's happened, with the friends we made and the lives we lived that statement seems all the more painful knowing that there was the possibility that we once thought we would be friends, even if that hope was just for a moment.

"I should go." She says quickly and starts walking away.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I say but I know my words are too quiet for her to hear and by the time I follow her I'm sure she is already back in her dormitory.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hermione POV**

I meet Pansy in the astronomy tower that evening for our study session. For whatever reason (though the reason we keep telling ourselves is that we work well together) we have decided to expand our interactions outside of just the classroom. The truth is, that I actually find myself quite fond of Pansy in moments that both she and I are off guard.

"Hey." I smile as I see Pansy exit the stairs.

"Merlin, you'd think they'd put in a fucking elevator or something. I mean we're magic, is electricity really beyond us?" She groans.

I stare at her blankly, "that's the most astute muggle thing I've ever heard you say. I'm surprised you even know what an elevator is." I say the last part as a soft tease and she simply shrugs.

"Pure bloods don't live underground. I have a fair idea of how the world works." She smiles.

We walk over an sit on one of the stone benches.

"What is it like?" I ask her. "Living with a pure blood family?" I don't know if I should have spoken the question or not, but there is something to this section of the wizarding world that I've never quite got. Unlike most students at Hogwarts I've never had a true sense of belonging, here or at home, in either one I still belong to a different world. At home, when I was younger I was called a freak, here it was impure or worse things.

"Oh umm. I don't know it seems completely normal to me. I just kind of assume everyone lives like we do as bad as it sounds. I don't know much about the muggle world."

"You'd like it." The words slip out of my mouth and I half expect Pansy to stand up and scream at me or taunt me with some slur but she just remains sitting.

"What makes you think that?"

"I dunno." I press my hands into the pockets of my robes. "Just intuition." I still can't read her reaction.

"Well can your intuition help us finish this project?" She smiles slightly.

I smile but I'm hesitant. She's moved on quickly but part of me wants to press the issue. Not the issue of me being a muggle born but the issue of her being prejudiced against them. With each day I grow to like Pansy there also grows a desire to move on from our past together, to become those kids walking into the great hall again. I stupidly ran off when she had mentioned that, but now all I wanted was to go back to that night, and then back to whatever moment it all went wrong.

For some reason Pansy intrigues me. For some reason I hope I intrigue her.

"I hate astronomy." Pansy mumbles next to me scribbling in her notes. "It's far too much like divination."

I laugh at this. "Remember Trelawney?"

"What?" Pansy smirks. "Does she not work here anymore?"

"Left after the battle. I think it was all a little too much for her."

"Thank whatever god you muggles have." Pansy says the words in a slight drawl and I can tell she is joking. I laugh and again and realize it's the first time Pansy has said any joke about muggles that I've actually laughed at, that was meant for me instead of against me.

The next day, as I finish handing in my astronomy assignment and receive what I believe to be a genuine smile from Pansy I decide I need to tell her, to warn her. I pull her aside after class and tell me to meet me near the weeping willow, where I now stand waiting for her arrival. It's important, I said to her, it's about that girl Phae.

I'm sure if questioned, both Ron and Harry would admit to not even recognizing Phae's name. Honestly, until sixth year I didn't know who she was either. I hadn't ever paid too much attention to the students in years below me, especially those in other houses. To a large degree I assumed my lack of knowledge about other students was a byproduct of my friendship with Harry and Ron. We were our own group, our own family. I miss them both each day and each day I worry I'll never get the chance to stop missing them. Ron hasn't spoken to me since I broke it off with him, even though he claimed to be fine with my leaving him. It wasn't that I didn't love him or care for him, in fact I still do love him, probably more than anyone else. Somehow Harry had always seemed a bit separate from us, but Ron and I had each other to go through everything with. It was just that, well, once we stop going through things we stopped needing each other as much. Harry still writes to me everyday, but I just worry that because of what's happened between me and Ron, nothing will ever be the same between us three.

But both of their absences have contributed to my newfound awareness of other students. I only knew Phae from my sixth year when her year had their O.W.L.S published. She hadn't outscored me on my best subjects of course, but she had nearly matched all my scores evenly, even surpassing me in two of my worst exams, and was by far the top in her class. I asked Mcgonagall about her once and she had simply glanced up at me very hesitantly and said that she had nothing to say on the matter of the girl. I had since found that a strange reaction, and even stranger that Mcgonagall or my professors had never mentioned anything about the girl before. I supposed that maybe she had found away to cheat on her exams but when I (in retrospect most deviously) used Harry's invisibility cloak to follow her and watch her in her classes I found no evidence of anything but an exceptionally bright student. After her O.W.L.'s she of course became the pride and joy of Ravenclaw, a prefect and captain of their Quidditch team. Now here she was, back for her seventh year at the same time I was back for mine.

"You seem distracted." I turn around and see Pansy pacing over towards me. She looks so different this year, as if there is some delicacy in her actions, as if she's constantly waiting for people to break.

"Just waiting." I respond. Pansy pulls her usual pursed lips expression and I it makes me blush slightly that I can recognize it as her expression of concentration. I need to stop spending so much time with her, I think to myself. Though, then again each time I think I should avoid Pansy or say something awful to her, I can't. The thing is, she hasn't done anything that quite deserves my hatred this year, though her reservations are annoying. I wish she had made things simple, that I could just hate her and think of her as _Parkinson_ from the years before the battle.

"Are you okay?" And her question stuns me back into the realization that she is not that girl.

"Yes. Sorry." I smile at her though I'm sure she can tell it's forced.

"Why'd you bring me here?" She crosses her arms.

"I need to take you to someone," I say, "But I didn't want anyone to see us going from the castle."

"If you're thinking of dragging me to the shrieking shack I will hex you Granger."

I narrow my eyes, "how did you..."

"Snape showed me one day." She shrugs.

I blink, somewhat baffled as to why she would have been shown this. "Why?"

But instead of answering she just sighs. "Just let's get this done with."

I turn on my heels and hear the leaves crunch behind me as she follows. I half expect her to catch up and walk by my side but she stays behind me.

"So were are we going?" She asks and I feel slightly awkward talking to her like I'm leading a reluctant stranger to some foreign place instead of showing some girl I've known for seven years a very familiar place.

"Hagrid's." Her footsteps stop behind me.

"Um what the hell."

I turn back to her, she has her hands stuffed into her robes. "He fucking hates me."

I roll my eyes, "well you did get him fired."

"That was Draco." She retorts evenly, but I simply scoff.

"You were involved."

"Okay great we're agreed." She throws me a fake smile. "Not going." She starts to go but I jolt out an arm and grab her hand pulling her back.

"Wait!"

Her eyes drop to her hand linked in mine and I quickly pull it away.

"Why are we going?"

"Look Pansy." I groan. "Just trust me."

"Like you trust me." She states sarcastically. "Why should I return the favor?"

"Because I have absolutely no reason to trust you and you have absolutely no reason not to trust me."

She glares at me and doesn't say anything but she steps to my side and continues her walk up the hill.

It's awkward again as we walk in silence, somehow the tension is made even more obvious now that I can see Pansy who keeps flinching as if this walk is physically painful. It pretty much is.

"I hear you made the Quidditch team." I say trying to break the silence.

"Would have been humiliating not to."

We've both just stated facts and nothing of interest so I struggle to continue the conversation.

"What position do you play?"

"Beater."

"Would have been my guess."

She looks at me a little strangely. "Why?"

At this I flush, because that position really wouldn't have been my guess.

"Most people guess that." She says nonchalantly, she doesn't seem to notice my blush.

"Oh why?"

"Same as you," she nods, "you know Beaters are like the pyscho ones on the team, knocking bludgers towards the other players. It's essentially a position where you're supposed to be guided by violence."

I feel slightly bad at her explanation and the fact that I said beater, which was honestly just the first position I thought of.

"You protect your own team too though." I say as we trudge though the damp ground to Hagrid's hut.

She laughs a little though it is without humor. "Yeah but I don't think I strike people as much of a protector."

"My dad taught me how to play." She speaks again quickly as if she is embarrassed of her last statement.

"Pansy," I say slowly. I shouldn't ask but I can't help myself. Out of all the houses I've never had an extended conversation with anyone from Slytherin, especially after the battle and now it seems all I do is wonder about their house. What happened to them that night? What will happen to them because of it?

"What do your parents think of you coming back here?" I ask her.

"Oh." She seems slightly taken aback. "I don't really know." She has stopped looking at me as she talks.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I haven't spoken to them for a while."

"They don't wonder where you are?"

"I doubt it."

I want to ask her more but we've arrived at Hagrid's hut. She opens the door and steps back to allow me to enter through. The act surprises me and I somewhat stumble through Hagrid's doorway.

"Hermione!" Hagrid bellows.

"Hagrid." I smile.

"How've ye been!" He shouts it as more of a statement than a question. "Been a while!"

"We saw each other yesterday Hagrid." But my voice is teasing and he winks at me.

"I know, I just...with Harry and Ron gone. Not much company round here."

"Well," I say and motion to the side. "I brought someone else. You know Pansy?"

Hagrid's smile falters for a moment and I have a split second of worry but he seems to compose himself and extends a hand to Pansy who hesitantly reaches out her own to shake his.

"Well sit down!" He says after he has finished shaking Pansy's hand for what seems like too long a time. "What're here for?"

"Hagrid." I say clenching my fist. "Will you tell Pansy what you told me about that girl, Phae."

"Ohhhh." Hagrid leans back. "That girl's always been trouble, mind you that's what I told Hermione."

"What did she do?" Pansy asks. Her voice sounds cooler than I expect.

"Oh well, ya know when I were teaching my class third year." At this he stops for a moment and glares at Pansy who stares steadily back at him. "These creatures, they're smart and instinctual. They know things." He taps his head. "And some students well they just don't take a liking to 'em."

"You mean like Slytherins." Pansy says and I subconsciously reach my hand to hers though I stop myself before touching her, though she glances sideways at me. I immediately pull my hand back. I don't know why I reached for her in the first place and I clench my palm as if I can conceal the blush spreading across my hands.

"No." Hagrid seems oblivious to the implication of her question. "Ne'er had a specific problem with 'em. Mean course there were those few they didn't like but Phae...that girl was different. Like the creatures sensed just somethin.

"Somethin what?" Pansy leans forward.

Hagrid hesitates before saying the next word, "evil."

Pansy fidgets uncomfortably. "Why bring me here?" She turns to me. "What's the point of telling me this?" She swivels back to Hagrid.

"Hermione here told me ye'r friends with 'er. " He says slowly.

"Well..." I stammer. "I mean...you are right?"

"And what's it to you?" She says coldly to me.

"What?" I say slightly taken aback by her reaction.

"Why the fuck do you care so much?" Her tone is slightly louder than it should be and I open my mouth more in shock than to retort but Hagrid beats me to it anyways.

"I asked myself the same question." He says.

"What?" Pansy turns aggressively to him. "What do you mean by _that_?"

"Hagrid..." I start, but Hagrid looks like he's about to throw something.

"I mean think about it! Hermione Granger caring about someone like you!"

Pansy stands up. "I've had enough."

"That chair...right where you're sittin." Hagrid says slowly, I watch Pansy glance back. "That's where Hermione sat crying second year because your friend Malfoy called 'er a mudblood."

Pansy looks startled but she doesn't flinch. "Doesn't..." she starts but Hagrid continues.

"And where she came every time after that when you called 'er one." At these words I miss Pansy's reaction because she jolts past me and immediately swings open the door to Hagrid's hut.

"Pansy." I call out, but she disappears out the hut.

I turn to Hagrid who looks apologetic. "I don't trust her Hermione."

"I think I do." My own words surprise me.

"Hermione why? She..."

"I know what she did Hagrid!" I say it slightly louder than I mean to and blush. "I'm sorry." He smiles at me.

"It's just..." I go on. "She's been nice these last few weeks. She's been interesting."

"And that makes up for it all?" Hagrid asks.

"I don't..." I falter. "I...She's said things. I don't know Hagrid."

"Hermione Granger at a loss for words." Hagrid looks at me curiously.

He's right I have nothing to say, for once I have nothing to say. So I leave his house without saying anything and sprint after Pansy.

When I catch up to her she is walking quickly to the castle.

"You shouldn't of fucking brought me there."

Some students on the lawn stare at us as we walk by and I catch their eyes. I'm sure we're a strange pair and a strange sight, Hermione Granger chasing after Pansy Parkinson.

"See you don't listen!" Pansy rolls her eyes.

"Sorry." I say, my gaze tracing back to her. "What did you say?"

"I said I told you that Hagrid didn't like me."

" _You_ were the one who was horrible to him!" I exclaim furiously. "Hagrid was perfectly pleasant."

"Yeah a typical statement from a typical teachers pet."

"Oh shut up Pansy. What are you in first year?"

She glares at me as we weave our way through the students in the hallways.

"I don't understand." I say. "I was trying to help you."

"By having Hagrid judge my only friend here!" Her voice is high pitched and a few students throw us odd looks.

 _"That."_ she says "is why I don't like him. He trusts his animals more than people."

"Yeah Phae seems really trustworthy always lurking around with her sketchy friend Rowena." I say sarcastically.

"There it is." She whips to face me. "The distrust of the slytherins. The fucking judgment."

Anger overwhelms me. Who was this girl to talk about judgment?

"Phae is the only person who has ever been nice to me this year."

"I've been nice to you!" I shout. The anger increases. But despite it's grip I know there's something Pansy isn't telling me.

"What the hell is it Pansy?" I go on. "What are you so mad about?"

"You and your constant judgments! I told you! I'm sick of you making my friends out to be horrible people. First Draco now Phae."

"I never said Draco was a horrible person." I say calmly.

"She scoffs and the breath of air seems to breathe into me a resurgence of that previous anger.

"Anyways you're one to talk about judgment. Hagrid was telling the truth."

She pauses her steps for a moment at this and though her pace quickly recovers she doesn't say anything.

"So you're just not going to say anything to that?" I angrily state. "No fucking apology. God, if I were you I would have planned one out."

She stops walking.

I feel my heart quicken and my pulse pounds against the thin flesh on my wrist, I can feel the blood heat my veins.

"But I guess why would you?" My words are cold, devoid of emotion. "Why would you apologise to a mudblood?"

She steps over to me and I immediately take a step back but before I can react she has taken my hands in her own. They are colder than I imagined they would be. I had pictured them soft but always warm, but as her hands wrap around my fingers they cool my own heated fingertips.

"Don't." She says in a tone I don't recognize. "Don't call yourself that."

"What?" I spit at her. "Don't call myself what?" Daring her to say it.

"That." She whispers and stares at the ground next to me as if she can't stand to look in my eyes when I say what I will next.

"Mudblood."

She flinches and I can feel her fingers twitch against mine.

"You had no problem saying it before." I continue cooly.

She drops my hands.

"Oh come on Pansy!" My words are exasperated instead of angry now. "You can't honestly believe that we would have a few study sessions and then everything would be forgotten.

"I don't want to forget everything." Her voice is soft.

"Oh my apologies! I didn't realize those were such great memories for you! Us hating each other!"

"You didn't...we...you always..." She stumbles and I feel slightly bad but not anywhere near enough to stop me from finishing.

"Yeah I was always nice to you Pansy. You could never bring yourself to redo the favor. God forbid a pureblood show any shred of respect for a filthy mudblood."

At the last word Pansy visibly recoils.

"I'm sorry." She whispers.

"It's a little fucking late for that Pansy." I mean to scream the words but they come out quiet instead.

She takes a step away from me.

"I...no...you're right." She drops her head. "You're right."

"Perfect." I have a feeling I should stop now but I don't.

"Go tell Slughorn then."

"What?" She lifts her eyes to me.

"Go tell our professor you don't want to be partnered with a girl underserving of the title witch. That's what you told Snape right, fourth year when we were supposed to be partnered together during potions."

"I was stupid Hermione." Her voice breaks slightly. "I'm sorry."

I don't say anything.

"Can we still be partners?" She stares at the ground.

"Unbelievable." I push past her. "I'll go talk to Slughorn."


	5. Chapter 5

_Thanks to everyone who has favorited/followed this story! Hope you are enjoying it :)_

 **Hermione POV**

Ironically I get partnered with Phae for potions now. I look at Pansy as I walk to the back of the classroom, expecting to see a familiar Parkinson smirk but instead she just has her eyes adjusted firmly on her notes. She clenches her first as I walk past. I slide into my seat next to Phae who just looks at me evenly with an expression that I can't really discern. For the first time I notice her eyes are a faint amber and as I survey the features of her face out of the corner of my own brown eyes I have the startling realization that Phae is quite pretty. I had never noticed before and even now I think her looks are something you can only really see up close. I clench my just, mimicking Pansy's own action from before. There's something about those amber eyes that bother me, not necessarily Phae herself, but the idea of Pansy staring into them. I touch my finger to the bridge of my nose as if my own plain brown eyes now have begun to worry me.

But I need to stop thinking about Pansy, need to stop thinking about her spending the last week with Phae. I haven't seen them apart and part of me wants to be so self-centered as to believe that her companionship with Phae is directly related to me, but part of me thinks that maybe the Parkinson from my past years has returned.

Phae coughs next to me and I blink rapidly, momentarily stunned out of my thoughts.

"What is your deal?" She enunciates the words slowly.

"Sorry?" My cheeks flush.

"You were just staring at me for like five minutes straight."

"Umm." But I don't know what else to say, all I can think of is her telling Pansy about me staring at her. I think of Pansy laughing and saying some awful thing about me and…

"What the fuck?" Phae is glaring at me. I've zoned out again. "Aren't you supposed to be top in our school or whatever."

"Pretty sure you took that title." I mumble.

Phae laughs and at first I think it's taunting but then she says, "no way. I scored a decent score on some tests. You defeated fucking voldemort." I'm startled by her use of the name. Most people are still wary. "That's got to count for more than a couple A's."

"Ummm," I can't tell if she's being nice or just leading me on. "Thanks."

"I was there that night too." She laughs when she sees my surprised expression. "Yeah, yeah I know most people don't like talking about it. But how's anyone supposed to move on when we can't even speak about that night without having someone burst into tears. You know…" she leans closer to me so that her lips are almost at my neck. "Most people who are all upset are the ones who went over to Voldemort's side. There's a lot more than you think.." She leans back. "They're just scared they're going to get caught. But I can give you names if you want."

"What?" I stammer. It's one of the only times I haven't been in control of a conversation. "Why would I want names?"

"I dunno." She makes a face. "But I have them."

"How is anyone supposed to move on when you're so intent on punishing people?" I state boldly attempting to regain the upper-hand. Though honestly I'm never sure I had it.

She pauses for a moment and doesn't answer my question when she speaks again. "I don't even know what we're all supposed to be moving on from."

"Class dismissed!" I hear Slughorn's voice sound from the front of the room.

"See ya!" She smirks at me and stands up, I'm still confused at her statement, so I struggle to quickly collect all of my books in my bag.

"Wait!" I sprint out of the classroom and call out to her.

She spins around and as she does the girl next to her glances back. Fuck it's Pansy.

Phae lifts her eyebrows. "Yes?"

"What did you mean you don't know what we should have moved on from?"

"Let's go." Pansy mumbles to Phae. Her eyes are locked on the floor much like they were on her notebook. Anything to not look at me.

Phae grins. "I meant what I said."

I fight the urge to roll my eyes at her children's book expression.

"Phae." Pansy tugs on her robe, trying to walk away. But Phae stands perfectly still.

"You know, Pansy and I were heading to the quidditch pitch to practice for our game on Thursday. You can come if you want?"

"Hermione hates flying." Pansy interjects, still avoiding meeting my eyes.

I stare directly back at her. "I'd love to come."

Phae just laughs.

When we reach the pitch Pansy and Phae collect their broomsticks from the storage units of both their respective teams. Phae stares at my empty hands.

"Do you not own a broom?"

"I told you." Pansy sounds exasperated. "She hates flying." And with that she pushes off the ground and levitates in the air.

"I'll just wait here." I smile at Phae. I'm not exactly sure why I am here but I tell myself it's because I need to figure out Phae. Honestly though part of me knows I'm here because I need to figure out Pansy.

"Don't be silly." Phae grabs my hand and I flinch at how different hers is than Pansy's. It's like grabbing stone, smooth and varnished. "Ride with me."

I can feel Pansy's disapproval radiating from above us.

"No, really I'm fine.." I feel slightly sick to my stomach.

"No really ride with me." Phae repeats.

"Leave her alone Phae." Pansy interjects. I can't tell if her words are mean or kind.

But Phae's grip tightens around my own. She pulls me into her. "I'll tell you what I meant. I'll tell you everything you want to know."

I open my mouth to object but no sound comes out and Phae has dragged me onto her broomstick. She pushes off the ground and my stomach lurches. She giggles. "Hold on."

We reach Pansy who now stares directly at me. "What is this Phae?" Her words are laced with a degree of bile.

"A joyride."

Pansy flys closely next to us so that I could reach out and touch her. "Let her go back down. She hates flying I told you."

So she was being kind, I think. Or is that too presumptuous?

"No fun." Phae drawls. "Anyways Hermione and I are having a very interesting conversation aren't we?"

I open my mouth to speak but quickly have to close it for fear I might gag at how high up we are. Despite the fact that I've flown with Harry and Ron before and been relatively fine, though greatly uneasy, I feel far worse with Phae. I feel unsafe.

"Hermione," Pansy says. I look at her and it's the first time both of us have locked eyes since our argument at Hagrid's. Her eyes look pleading and I'm surprised by the degree of emotion displayed by the slight twitches on her face. "You can come on my broom." She reaches out a hand to me and flies even closer so that she is immediately next to Phae. I hear Phae mumble something under her breath. Pansy locks her hand on my shoulder and begins helping me off Phae's broom, but before I can swing my legs over, Pansy is thrown back and slips off her broomstick. I immediately reach my hand out to her, but the motion throws mine and Phae's broomstick off balance and I hear Phae shout "fuck!" before steering us directly upwards. I start sliding off the back and glance below me to Pansy's broomstick but I don't see her or the broom. Phae's hand grabs my left arm and steadies me, she presses forward and evens us out. We jolt straight forward, as I seek the ground below me I feel sick. I can't see anything, can't see the pitch, the ground or Pansy.

"Fuck!" I scream but Phae just laughs. "Phae!" I shout.

"Calm down Granger. We're having fun." She giggles again.

"You hexed Pansy off that broom!" I shout against the wind.

"Maybe." Her eyes are locked on the sky in front of her so I can't see her expression, can't see if she is lying.

"Are you insane!" I scream.

"Are you stupid?" Phase's own voice is calm. "I did it for you. She had it coming. It was only a matter of time before someone did something to her." She laughs.

"You did it for me?"

"Obviously. Pansy hates you."

At this my heart stops racing and just drops. Phae seems to sense my change in rate and jolts the broom to a halt.

"Oh don't be such a wimp." She says turning to face me. "It was just a joke. I hit her with a levitating spell as well. She's fine."

I feel a coolness spread back into my veins.

"Aren't you two friends?"

"Obviously." Phae retorts. "She was in on it."

"What?" The fire returns to my blood.

"Yeah. It was her idea actually to prank you."

But before I can continue Phae's expression begins to slip from her face, dropping her cheeks and narrowing her eyes. She looks startled, looks afraid, keeps looking directly past me. I whip my head around to see what Phae has seen but the fog obstructs my view.

Suddenly, Phae's broom is knocked upwards. Phae grabs the top and pulls herself up. I reach desperately for the bottom of the broom and Phae turns down to me, holding the top of the broom with one hand and extending her hand toward mine. I link my own fingers in hers, her hand is stained with sweat and I can feel my fingers sliding out of hers as she grimaces and attempts to pull me upwards.

The broom spins again, hit by something, and Phae's fingers are torn off mine. She screams as I'm thrown backwards. I stick out my hand desperately to grab hers, to grab the broom, to grab anything, but my arm sweeps through the air without contact. I scream and in return I hear my own name called from above.

"Phae!" I cry back. But the voice that calls again isn't hers.

"Granger!"

"Pansy." This time though my words are soft and my eyes cloud over. I can't see anything, can't feel anything in front or behind me. Out of all the sensations to have when one is dying, feeling nothing is perhaps the most frightening.

They say the last of the senses to go is your hearing, figures that it is also the first to come back.

"Hermione!" Someone shouts as I strain to open my eyes. "Hermione!"

"Merlin stand back and let the poor girl come to."

But I've recognized the first voice and I call out for her to speak again.

"Pansy…" I mumble.

Someone's fingers slide through my own and at their cold touch I recognize them as her's.

"You're okay?" I say slowly.

She laughs and I open my eyes to see her perched on my bed.

"I should be asking you that. You fell from like five hundred feet."

"You fell too."

"Nope." She smiles softly. "Hit me with a levitation spell the bitch."

Phaedra's words rush back to me. I pull my hand out of Pansy's and her smile falters.

"What's wrong?" She asks softly. "Do you want me to go?"

"I dunno. That depends. Are you the reason I'm lying here?" Pansy looks as if she doesn't quite understand me or what to say and she desperately looks at the nurse who is standing awkwardly to the side of us. She takes a step closer to us.

"Yes, Miss Granger. Miss Parkinson is the reason you're here."

Pansy blushes and looks down at her hands reaching them to mine again.

"Are you crazy!" I yank them back. "You tried to kill me!"

"What!" Pansy leers back. "I saved you."

"Miss Granger." The nurse interjects. "You must be confused from your fall, but Miss Parkinson here was the one who caught you and brought you in."

It's my turn to blush and I struggle to reach Pansy's eyes with my own. I slide my hands across the bed expecting to meet hers but she has already stuffed them back in her robes.

"I'm sorry." I say softly to her. She is staring at the wall.

"It's fine." But her face is red and she looks as if she has been hit by a bludger.

"No Pansy." I touch her shoulder gently. "Not just for that but for everything. Bringing you to Hagrid's and messing up and…."

"You didn't mess anything up." She mumbles. "I did like six years ago."

"Maybe we both need to stop fucking up with each other." This elicits a small smile from her and she turns to me.

"You were right at Hagrid's though." She says. "Phae is apparently a lunatic." She sighs. "Wish Buckbeak had ripped her arm off."

I laugh at this and she grins.

"What will happen to her?" Pansy is still looking at me but I can tell her words are directed at the nurse. "What will happen?" She repeats again and the nurse realizes she is being spoken to.

"Who?"

Pansy swivels her head. "Um Phae." She says slowly. "You know the girl who tried to kill us."

The nurse stares at Pansy blankly.

"What?'

"Phaedra." I say, realizing I don't know the girl's last name. "She's in Ravenclaw. She hexed Pansy off her broom. What happened to her?"

The nurse looks oddly at us. "I don't think anything has happened to someone by that name."

"Well she can't have just gone back to class!" Pansy stands up. "Shouldn't she be punished?"

"Wait," the nurse says. "Did you say she was there as well on the brooms?"

Pansy stares at her indignantly. "Yeah that's what I told you coming in here after I almost fell two hundred fucking feet."

"Pansy" I quickly interject.

The nurse looks taken aback. "Miss Parkinson!"

"Well!" Pansy shouts.

"I'm going to have to examine you both for head trauma." The nurse speaks walking away.

"What are you talking about?" I say quickly before Pansy, who looks like she would like to push the nurse off a broom, can speak again.

"Miss Granger I can assure you that no one by the name Phaedra was with you two, let alone tried to kill you!"

"So we what?" Pansy sneers. "Fell magically out of the sky."

"Your talent on a broomstick is none of my concern." The nurse states evenly.

"Fuck this!" Pansy shouts moving off the bed. I grab her arm and pull her back. My hand seems to relax the tension in her arm.

"What we're just a bit confused about," I say slowly to the nurse who is now glaring at the both of us, "is that Phae was most definitely there. I saw her hex Pansy and she nearly killed me on the broomstick."

The nurse remains stoic, "Miss Granger I can assure you that the accident that happened between you and Miss Parkinson was an unfortunate result of the fog and," she glares at Pansy, "a result of Miss Parkinson's flying ability."

I open my mouth to respond but the nurse has clearly heard enough from the both of us and promptly turns on her heels to leave the room. Left alone Pansy turns to me, "What the hell was that?"

"I don't know." I say cautiously. "Maybe Phae is denying it ever happened."

But Pansy shakes her head, "No, that's impossible. Even if she had Madam Hooch saw the whole thing. She came over after hearing the screams and saw Phae land behind me. I mean Mcgonagall came and fucking interviewed me about the incident yesterday! I told her everything, the hex, how I had to fly to catch up with you and when I tried to pull you off that broomstick, Phae attacked me and the broom went spiraling out of control. That's when you fell. Mcgonagall said she would take care of it."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Well obviously!" Pansy exclaims. She looks down at me and perches back on the bed. "Sorry. I just feel like I'm going insane. Did any of this even happen?" She presses her fingers to her temple.

"You're not." I grab her hand. "Trust me it happened."

"Then what's going on?" Her voice is soft and it's the most vulnerable I've heard Pansy.

I start to say I don't know, but change my mind and instead just say, "We'll figure it out." I give a half-hearted smile.

"Okay." She looks at me with hesitation. "Whatever you say." She pauses and then continues, "I'm sorry too."

"For what? Saving my life?"

"No. For you know, the whole thing at Hagrid's…." she trails off. "You were obviously right."

I smile. "I can see why you wouldn't trust me…."

But Pansy cuts me off before I can finish. "I'm sorry for calling you a mudblood." Her voice comes out muddled and I can barely make out what she says but the word at the end sticks out.

"Fuck." She drops her eyes. "Hermione."

"Oh." I just say plainly. Ever since I was in second year and Draco had started the whole trend of his gang using the word against me I had sometimes allowed myself to think about and imagine all of them apologizing to me, begging me, telling me how wrong they were. Now I just want Pansy to stop talking.

"My great-great grandfather," she goes on still speaking at an up-tempo, "tried to ban wizards marrying muggles. It didn't work obviously." She looks at the ground. "But it worked on our family."

"What did?" I ask and my voice feels hoarse.

"All the anti-muggle sentiment. My parents wouldn't even let me read books written by muggles. I don't think I've ever seen a movie." She laughs slightly though her throat too sounds constricted. "Did you mean what you said that night on the astronomy tower, that I would like the muggle world?"

"I don't know." I fidget. I want to say yes, but the memories of the past override my present desire.

"I don't want them to be right about me." I'm not sure who she means exactly and for a moment I feel a rush of pain for this girl on my bed who has lived her life so defined by other people that she seems just a particle of someone else's ideas. At least I always had the opportunity to decide who I wanted to be, just like Harry decided he wanted to be in Gryffindor.

"I mean you did save me." I try in an attempt to make her feel better but judging by the expression on her face it falls flat.

"What do your parents do?" She asks and I'm a bit surprised at the question.

"Oh umm they're dentists."

She nods and doesn't ask any more questions which I find odd, most wizards have thousands of follow-up questions. Unless of course, they're prejudiced, in which case they show a complete lack of care. I worry that is what Pansy is doing now but she speaks again interrupting my concerns.

"I didn't go back." She says. "After the battle I just didn't go home. I stayed with Draco for a little, but that's one of the reasons I came back here so suddenly. I just didn't have anywhere else to go."

I feel the familiar sense of sympathy and run my thumb over the back of her hand.

"Why didn't you go back?"

"Dunno." But the way she smiles after she says it gives hint she does know. "I just got so fucking sick of it. The intolerance. Anyways, they wouldn't have wanted me back. They were devastated I didn't fight for Voldemort."

"Pansy," I squirm and manage to sit up despite the pain in my lower back. "You don't have to answer this, but why didn't you?"

She looks as if she has been expecting the question because she has no visible reaction .

"I was too scared." She gasps slightly in and I can tell she is trying not to cry. "And all my friends were here." She stares at her hands.

"You're right about the last part." I start and she looks at me. "You didn't fight because you couldn't bring yourself to do it. It takes a certain amount of bravery to stand against something."

"Yeah but I didn't exactly stand for anything either."

"Yes you did." I smile at her and she looks at me as if she's never seen me before, which I guess we haven't seen each other like this.

"You believe that?" She asks.

"Absolutely."

I reach my arms around her back and pull her into me. She collapses against me chest as if It has taken all her energy to speak what she has just revealed. I lean my head against her shoulder.

"It's okay." I whisper to her.

"Hermione," I can tell she is crying now. "You have to believe me, if I could go back and fight for you on the right side, if I could go back and not try to turn Potter in, I would do it. I would give anything to be able to take that night back."

I pull her in tighter and then my arms freeze around her. I feel my own heart quicken against hers. A coolness spreads across my face and I feel the same sense of dread I did each day when I was with Harry and Ron last year, the same sense of fear.

Because now I know what Phae has done, what she is doing, what she will do. They're all the same.

I pull away from Pansy suddenly, and she looks at me slightly surprised.

"Oh my god," I say to her. "Oh my god Pansy you've figured it out."


	6. Chapter 6

_Thank you again for the faves/feedback/follows! Much appreciated :)_

 **Pansy POV**

She was beginning to wonder how Ron and Harry had ever dealt with Hermione. It was impressive really, and she started to think that maybe the reason they were both so self-righteous all the time was because they were dealing with someone even more so. Two seconds after saying she knew everything that was going on, Hermione had let go of my hands and immediately bolted out of the bed and through the doors of the hospital wing despite my protests.

I hadn't seen her all the rest of the week, she wasn't even in potions, and I had previously believed Hermione never skipped class. One day in the great hall I thought I made out her silhouette amongst the crowds but when I called out her name the figure quickly disappeared into the mass of black robes. It wasn't that I expected Hermione to become my best friend immediately following the whole incident with Phae, I didn't expect or think she owed me anything. I did however, feel entitled to at least some acknowledgement. At minimal I had thought we were now acquaintances, but apparently Hermione believed otherwise.

"Where's Hermione?" I jump at the sound of Phae's voice behind me.

"Fuck!" I whirl around to see her standing by the fire in the Slytherin common room. "How did you even get in here?"

She shrugs, nonchalantly. "Rowena let me in."

"I haven't seen Rowena for like weeks and she definitely didn't come in here tonight." I cross my arms.

Phae sits herself down in the chair opposite me. "What is this, an interrogation?" Then in the same sentence she adds, "Where's Hermione?"

"I don't know." I say the words harshly. "Not everyone from other houses just waltzes into other common rooms."

Phae rolls her eyes. "No I mean where has she been all week?"

"So now you're concerned about her? Where was that when you almost killed the both of us?"

"Actually," she drawls. "You're the one who hit our broomstick. Hermione fell of because you hit us. I had nothing to do with it."

I scoff, "That's a little far-fetched. You hexed me off my broom!"

"You started it!" Phae mimics my voice sarcastically. "Is that really your argument."

"Merlin. I'm leaving." I start to stand up.

"Wait!"

I glare at her. "Hermione has clearly no interest in being friends with you, why can't we just be friends again?" She says calmly.

I look at her with hesitation."You didn't do anything to her right? Tell me she didn't disappear because you have her locked in a dungeon or something."

"For Merlin's sake!" She exclaims. "Look, I'm sorry. It was a prank gone wrong. I feel awful about it."

I'm caught off guard by how sincere she sounds. She's dropped her eyes and her hands are twitching.

"I don't trust you." I say plainly.

"You shouldn't." She sounds more upset than angry. "You should trust Granger about me."

"What?"

"I know she brought you to Hagrid's." She lifts her eyes. "And told you all those rumors about me."

"How could you possibly know that?"

"Look." Phae goes on. "You can believe who you want. But she's doing the same thing to me as she did to Draco. This time though, you're just desperate to be liked by her."

It's my turn to look down. "That's not at all true."

Phae's amber eyes seem to burn. "I know you like her."

"We study well together. That's all I would call it."

Phae smirks. "Study buddies. How cute. Just admit you want to fuck Granger."

I'm caught completely off guard by Phae's use of language and I reel back.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"That's insane! You're fucking insane." I stand up.

"Call me what you want." She is still smirking. "But I'm not a liar."

She stands up and paces across the room as I watch her, mouth still agape. She turns to me before leaving.

"You're pathetic." She sneers. "You think Granger doesn't know that? What could possibly make you think that a girl like Granger, who defeated Voldemort, could be with a girl who wanted to give Potter up. With a girl who still calls Voldemort "the dark Lord"".

"I don't…." I stammer. "I don't want to be with her."

"Sure." Phae rolls her eyes. "But even if not, it's too late anyways."

"What do you mean?" My heart quickens.

Phae smirks, this time her smile curves from the left to the right slowly as if her expression is the anticipation of my own emotional reaction to come.

"Well I told her."

"What?"

"I told Granger you liked her."

I stand up. "That's not true."

"Think about it." Her smile becomes softly. "Explains why she's been avoiding you."

And with that Phae disappears out of the common room leaving me frozen in place.

The next day in the Great Hall I decide to sit next to Phae. A few members from Ravenclaw give me strange looks but if Phae can come into our common room then I can allow myself the privilege of sitting with them for breakfast.

"Hey." I mumble as I sit down.

Phae takes another bite of jam and toast and smirks back at me as if she knows the reason why I'm here. _Because Hermione hates me._

Think of the devil, someone taps me on the shoulder and when I turn around there Hermione stands.

"Pansy." Her voice sounds desperate and she grabs my shoulder, an act which I visibly turn from.

I don't know if Phae was right, or how she knows what she knows, but there is something to what she has said about me and Hermione. There is some truth it all, there has to be. I think for a moment that maybe that's why I constantly fell all over Draco, he was a distraction, an easy out….

But no that can't possibly be it. I feel like Phae is in my head, to the point where I don't know anything but what she's told me.

"Come with me." Hermione's words jolt me out of my thoughts.

"Why would she?" Phae speaks with her mouth still half full of food and I shoot her a look.

"Why would she want to sit with you?" Hermione retorts.

Phae just shrugs and goes back to eating. I think that's one of the reasons why I can't bring myself to get away from Phae, her ability to under-qualify everything fascinates me, as if I am constantly interested by how uninteresting she assumes everyone else to be.

"Pansy." Hermione's voice sounds pleading.

I open my mouth to tell her to fuck off, or go away, but the words I hear myself say instead are "fine".

I stand up thinking that maybe Phae is right, maybe she has always been.

Hermione drags me out of the great hall and into the corridor. We walk a few paces until we reach a hall that is empty. She yanks me close to the wall and I flinch as my own chest hits hers. She seems unaffected and simply pulls me in closer to her.

"I thought she got to you. When I saw you sitting there, I thought she got to you." She whispers to me.

I shove Hermione off of me and she stumbles backwards.

"Where the fuck have you been?" I angrily say.

Somehow Hermione's complete un-acknowledgement of her very own lack of attention to me manages to make me more upset than I previously was.

She looks at me strangely.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh! I dunno." I exclaim. "Maybe the fact that you've been avoiding me for an entire fucking week. I mean what the…." I don't finish my sentence as I see Hermione's face drain of color, as if she is realizing some previously untold secret.

"Pansy," she states very carefully and her words are more timid than I've ever heard her tone. Usually Hermione Granger speaks with absolute authority. It's one of the qualities I've always found simultaneously most annoying and most admirable. "When was the last time we spoke?"

I want to swear at her again or just leave but something stops me. "A week ago at the hospital wing."

She looks as if she is about to cry.

"Hermione," I say softly. "What's wrong?"

I flinch as the words escape me, thinking that Hermione now has confirmation of what Phae has told her. That maybe I am starting to like her. I half expect Hermione to laugh in my face and tell me this is all a joke but instead she just touches my arm lightly as if to stabilize me.

"Pansy we've been talking all week."

I laugh. I can't help it. "That's insane!"

But Hermione is completely stoic.

Maybe this is all a prank to get back at me for what? Liking her? Do I like her? For what Phae told her?

But glancing at her body language she seems far too afraid both of what I am telling her and what she is saying for this to be any sort of joke.

"She did get to you. Pansy I'm so sorry. You must think…." She shakes her head. "I haven't been avoiding you?"

I cross my arms shrugging her arm off my shoulder. "I'm pretty sure you have."

"No." She shakes her head again. "I didn't want to tell you everything because I was worried Phae would find out and hurt you. I made up an excuse about my revelation at the hospital wing being a result of my trauma and didn't tell you what was actually going on. I was scared. I'm so sorry…" She trails off. "I thought she wouldn't get to you."

"Can you please explain what you're talking about." My voice sounds exasperated but more desperate than I would like. "We never had that conversation."

Hermione looks upset. "Yes. You just don't remember….I suppose you don't remember anything we talked about."

"We never talked!" I scream at her.

She glances furiously down the hall. "Someone could be listening."

"Maybe," I whisper harshly. "If you could just tell me what the fuck is going on I wouldn't have to scream."

"Okay." She mumbles. "Ok fine."

She takes a deep breath.

"Merlin get on with it!"

"I'm pretty sure Phae wiped your memory." She blurts.

I smile despite myself. "That's literally impossible. I remember loads." I stop smiling. "Just not you ever talking to me after we were in the hospital wing."

"That's what I'm saying," Hermione hisses. "I'm not exactly sure how she does it but she seems to have a way of blanking out people's memories for certain points."

"That's not possible." I repeat.

"It would be if…." She drops her voice but doesn't finish.

"If what?" I'm starting to get frustrated.

"Pansy." She grabs my hand. "I'm telling you this girl, Phaedra. She's evil."

I laugh though without humor. "Have you ever thought that maybe you make all your own villains?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" She reels back.

"All you and Potter ever did was sort people into categories of good and evil. Once someone was in the latter you wrote them off completely."

"And you were the pinnacle of accepting?" She retorts.

"That's not what I'm saying."

"No!" This time Hermione shouts. "You're only saying that because she's in your head."

I'm quiet.

"Think about it." Hermione goes on. "Where does her friend Rowena go half the time? Why does no-one seem to know anything about her? Why do none of the professors talk about her!"

I smirk. "Someone sounds jealous."

"Oh my fucking god!"

The words startle me and I blink a few times. Hermione glances at my expression and keeps talking, knowing she's forced me into a momentary silence.

"I've talked to other people too, it's like they all know her but no one can quite figure out how they know her. Like she's not really here." She says the last line quietly.

"I have no idea what you're saying." My own tone is even.

"Of course you wouldn't." She sighs but the words aren't said in a harsh way, rather like she's angry at herself for not explaining things better to me. She should be upset, I think. Because I'm still lost.

All of a sudden Hermione is extending her palm towards me, in it lays a small gold object.

"Do you know what this is?" She asks slowly.

My heart feels like it's been split open. "Where the fuck did you get that?"

"That's not important."

I open my mouth to object and can feel panic spreading through my limbs. "If someone sees that…."

"No ones going to think that I'm trying to bring back Voldemort." She says with sarcasm.

"Okay but what about me?" I screech almost hysterically.

"Calm down. Ok it's not even real. It's just a fake one from my class." She rolls her eyes.

"You could have said that before pulling it out? What the fuck does this even have to do with Phae?"

"I think she's been using one." Hermione's words are carefully calculated, as if she's been practicing telling me this. Knowing Hermione she probably has.

"Thats impossible." I say. "All the time turners were destroyed."

"I know. Unless she's not using it to go back in time." Her last words are again said at a whisper.

"What?" I begin, then it dawns on me. "Granger you know as well as me that those…."

"I thought so too but its the only thing that makes sense!"

"How would she even have one like that?"

"I haven't figured it all out!"

"Well it sounds like a lot of theories Hermione." I keep my arms crossed.

"If you hadn't noticed from going to school with me for seven years that's kind of all I ever have." She gives a slight self-condemning smile. "And it worked." Her smile turns confident. "Look where we are. Voldemort's gone…"

"And we're apparently doing the same shit you and Potter did a year ago." I blatantly state.

She just glares at me and I sigh speaking again.

"Ok so your theory is that Phae is using a time turner to travel forwards in time, to now?"

"Yes." She gives a slight nod.

"That doesn't make any sense though. The battles over. If she was trying to bring back the dark lord…."

"Dont." She cuts me off and I think of Phae's words to me.

"What?" I mumble softly.

"Call him that."

I'm silent so Hermione speaks again.

"Pansy dont. You don't have to."

It's the first time anyone has ever told me I don't need to speak that way. The first time anyone tells me that what I believe is up to me, that what I do is my decision.

"Whatever." I can tell I'm blushing. "Anyways you know who is already dead. Why bother coming here?"

"I don't know." She frowns. "But Pansy, Hagrid had Phae during her second year. Who knows how long she's been doing this?"

Even though I don't fully believe Hermione, the thought of Phae meddling in time for years makes me nauseous.

"If she has then why did we win? Why is everything fine now?" I ask the questions half to convince myself that she couldn't have possibly been doing this for that long.

"I don't think she could change that much. I think she's just been changing little things but even in time travel those would have profound consequences."

"Then why haven't we seen any!"

"Maybe we have!" She pauses. "You didn't realize that things had changed. That all our conversations were gone."

"Yeah but how come I seem to be the only one affected. You seem to know things I don't know."

"I.." Hermione frowns as if in deep concentration. "I think Phae goes forward in time and wipes people's memories. So that it doesn't matter what happens, she doesn't need to change anything because you won't remember it anyways. Like a safety net guarantee…." She trails off. "Slightly brilliant." She adds softly and I roll my eyes. Someone could have blown up half of Hogwarts and if they had any semblance of intelligence Hermione would find it and say something kind about that quality. It pains me to think she hasn't said anything about me...but I can't dwell on that fact.

"That doesn't explain why the dark lord…..you know who is dead!" I inwardly curse at my usage of the dark lord, no wonder she thinks I'm an idiot. "Why wouldn't she go to the battle!" I continue.

"I can't figure that out. There must be something significant about this time."

"I can assure you there's nothing significant about this time and all this conversation seems to be is a complete waste of it." I move to turn away from her.

"Pansy! Please….I need you." She sounds even more vulnerable than she did in the hospital.

"Why don't you just call up Weasley or Potter?" I retort.

"We're not really speaking." She drops her eyes. "I told you that before…" she trails off but I interrupt her.

"So I win by default. Great."

"No. I…please."

"No answer my question. Why are you trusting me with this?"

"Because," she sighs. "Look, in the week you don't remember we actually….we kind of became friends."

My heart quickens. "I don't believe you."

" _Great Expectations_." She says.

"What?"

"That's the first muggle book you read. You told me that."

I stammer to find words.

"Yeah. It was."

She steps closer to me.

"And I know that you read all of Dickens books when you left your parents."

I look down but her fingers rest on my cheek and drag my eyes back to hers. "Yeah." I say softly. "I did."

Hermione goes on, "I know that you looked up what dentists were so that you could talk to me about my parents, but you said you didn't want to ask _a million stupid questions like the rest of the wizarding world_ so you had to look them up. You just wanted to know about them and about me."

I feel my cheeks heat up. "I don't remember that part."

Hermione just gives me a small smile and leans in cupping my face with her hands. I can feel my heart quicken and re-adjust in my chest so that it's pounding against my flesh. She kisses my forehead and her lips spread heat over my body. I wish she would pull away and move down to my own lips but instead she just pulls back.

"Well you did." She smiles at me. "There's more to you than you think Pansy Parkinson."

"I want my memories back." I say and while at one point I would have hated how vulnerable I sound, now I don't seem to mind it as much with her.

"What do you propose we do?" I find a slight confidence this time for my words.

Hermione looks at me intently. "We need to steal that time turner."

Hermione's plan is doomed to fail, not necessarily because it's not a good plan, but because we're missing a critical aspect and that is Rowena.

"We use polyjuice potion." Hermione says to me over the table at Hogsmeade.

It's weird being with her here, like a flashback to a time earlier where everything is different. I can almost see myself at a table in the distance, the old me staring at the present me with incredulous disbelief.

"Are you listening?" Hermione snaps me back to her.

"Sorry. I was just…" But before I can finish Hermione has already launched into detailing her plan again.

"We use polyjuice potion, I can go in as Rowena. You can be, I dunno some random ravenclaw. We could try one of those fifth years who's always breathing down my neck, should be easy to steal one of their hairs. We…."

But she trails off when she sees a figure lurking over us.

"Can I help you?" I sneer at the individual, a brown haired boy, who sees fit to stand over our table just creepily watching us.

The brown haired boy doesn't smile. "I'm just making sure."

"Of what?" Hermione's voice sounds tired. "I told you Dennis, we've taken enough photos."

 _Dennis._ The name sounds familiar but I can't place it to an event or situation.

"That _she"_ he juts a bony finger at me, "doesn't do anything."

I swat his finger away.

"What exactly is it you think I'm going to be doing?" I sneer.

"Dunno," he shrugs and drums his fingers on the wooden table. "Something evil."

I open my mouth to protest but Hermione steps in for me.

"I can assure you Dennis I am capable of taking care of myself."

I notice the fact that in her defense she doesn't stick up for me, my chest starts to burn.

"You weren't here last year…" Dennis's voice becomes quiet.

Then I remember him. _Fuck. Hermione can't listen to this._

"Shut up Dennis." I growl through gritted teeth. "You know what's good for you."

Dennis doesn't flinch. He's no longer afraid of me. There are too many witnesses, too many good people, Hermione is here.

"She," He refrains again from saying my name. "Was acting head girl under the Carrows. Used the cruciatus curse and everything, and one…."

But I've stood out of my seat and I place my hand on Dennis' chest shoving him backwards.

"I said shut the fuck up."

I am vaguely aware of Hermione standing up.

But Dennis was right, here there are too many witnesses, too many good people, too many people glaring at me with my wand pointed at Dennis.

"Hey!" Someone shouts in a mocking voice. "Someone grab that bitch! She's there someone grab her!" Mimicking my words from the battle.

Dennis smiles at me without gentleness. He knows I am outnumbered.

I glance at Hermione as if I'm expecting her to say something but she just sits there staring into her butterbeer.

I shove past Dennis, cheeks burning, outside the pub and into the snow. I don't hear Hermione call after me.

I don't see Hermione again that night and Merlin only knows what she's gotten up to. Probably taking pictures with that creep Dennis. I remember him from the start of the semester, I didn't have much interaction with him outside of that. I told him one time to not scream so loudly, it only made him a more fun target to the sadistic Carrows. But I should have told him to run. I should have run with him. At the end of the semester I had briefly told him he shouldn't come back to school but he didn't listen, was convinced as they all were that Potter was going to show up and save them all. Look where that had gotten his brother.

I lay in bed and press my pillow over my face. I had always avoided doing the worst that year, but I had always been too afraid to do my best for people as well. I didn't know if that made me kind or a coward. There's a reason I think, to why most people aren't cowards, not like me anyways. It takes doing absolutely nothing to be a coward, and most people well, they either do the right or the wrong thing. But not me, if there was a gray area of morality I might as well have had that color painted on my robes instead of the green. I need to do something, for once, I need to do something. I need to steal that time turner.

I forget Hermione's plan to use polyjuice and go to Phae as myself. I walk up the moving staircases to the Ravenclaw common room. As I walk, I get lost a couple of times, with all the stairs switching and with my real lack of knowledge about where exactly Ravenclaw's dormitories lie. I'm starting to realize that I don't really know anything about the other houses, besides their names and mascots. Eventually I find my way to the entrance and as I stand in front of the portrait, my heart sinks. I have no idea what the password is.

"It's my name."

I whirl around to the person who has seemingly answered my interior question. Rowena stands behind me and I blanch at her surprising appearance. It's like seeing a ghost.

"The password." She repeats casually. "Is my name."

I open my mouth but stumble over the one word. She shoves past me.

"Oh move over! Rowena." She says to the portrait and the door swings open.

She turns back around to me. "Don't do anything stupid." I want to respond that I won't but in all honesty I don't have any idea what she's talking about or why she's even here all of a sudden.

"Oh hey!" I see Phae rise from one of the seats near the common room fire and wave us over. "How's it going? Kind of a surprise to see you here," she motions at me which I think is ironic considering Rowena's lack of ever appearing anywhere. "Especially after your shock at me coming into the slytherin common rooms."

"Well people change." I dart my eyes around the room as if I am seeking the place of the hidden time turner.

"Indeed." Rowena states and I can feel her eyes burning into my back.

Phae seems a little startled at Rowena's word but she recovers quickly and motions for us to sit down. We take our seats.

"Well," She says cheerily. "What is it you two have come for? Didn't realize you were friends?" Her eyebrows lift on the last word.

"Oh ummm," Rowena stumbles.

"We walked in together." I shrug.

"I have to go to the loo." Rowena suddenly stands up.

I give her a strange look, but Phae just stares blankly.

"No. Stay." Phae commands and to my surprise Rowena sits down. "Don't go looking for the loo."

Either Hermione has me paranoid or Phae and Rowena seem to be speaking in code.

"Well," Phae looks over at me. 'Don't you think she shouldn't go looking for anything?"

I've had enough of their tricks. This is hopeless. I move to stand up but Phae moves as well slipping her hand into her pocket.

"Anyways I have what you both are looking for right here." Out of her pocket she draws a golden object which I recognize as a time turner, though whether or not the turner in question remains to be seen.

Rowena pulls out her wand and I have to glance twice at it, paling at its familiar appearance. _Hermione's wand._

"Where did you get that?" I say standing.

"The real question is," drawls Phae, "where did you get that?" She points directly at Rowena's face.

I move to open my mouth but find I can't move the muscles in my face or in my body. I shift my eyes to where Rowena is standing and see her frozen in the same stationary hold as me.

Phae giggles, and it's the first time I register her as giggling and not outright laughing. Somehow it seems more cruel.

"You both," she walks around my frozen body, "need to stop snooping. Anyways," she points a finger at Rowena, "if your theory had been correct. Then I would always be one step ahead of you, which" she smiles coldly. "I am."

She flicks her wrist and Rowena's body slides over so that we are eye-to-eye with each other. Phae draws out her wand from her other pocket and points it at Rowena. Her face begins to contort and contract. I want to scream, but I can't find my ability to move my vocal cords. Slowly, Rowena's face shifts into one that I more fondly recognize - Hermione. Her eyes are darting back and forth as well as mine but the rest of her body, like mine seems to be stationary.

"Polyjuice potion, I assume." Phae goes on, the only person with the ability to vocalize anything. "It's an alright plan," her voice is condescending, "but where did you expect to go from it? Maybe if you two could learn to work together." She laughs. "You would think Pansy'd be falling over your feet Hermione."

She pulls the time turner over my neck and then over Hermione's so that we are both wearing the chain. She then begins spinning it.

"Let's see shall we. If you two can ever learn. Can you learn to forgive her Hermione?" She laughs.

Then as the room starts spinning, I hear Phae whisper into my ears.

"Doubtful."

I can't think and for a moment I can't breathe. All there is is the rush of people around us, the world spinning, Hermione's hand in mine (though that can't be right), and all the air leaving the room traveling with us to a different time.

When the world stops moving, I fall flat. The sudden stillness of the world accompanied by my new ability to move jolts me back into reality violently. I fall face first into Hermione and she stumbles back. We collapse on the ground, me atop of her, our faces just inches from each other. We lay there for a second until Hermione flips me off her,

"Move! " She yells grabbing my hand, she drags us both behind a statue.

We're somewhere in one of Hogwart's many halls, though I don't know which one and I don't know what time.

"Hermione!" I hiss.

"We can't be seen by anyone!" She whispers, still clutching my hand. "We need to stay hidden."

"I don't care about that!" I exclaim. "How do we get out of here!" I clutch my neck and watch Hermione mimic my actions.

"Fuck!" She swears. "That bitch took it."

"So we're stuck here. Wherever here is."

As if in response to my statement I hear a cry coming from down the hall.

"Secure the castle! Hogwarts must be secure! They are coming!"

The battle. We've come back to the battle of Hogwarts.


	7. Chapter 7

_Thank you again for any feedback! It's really appreciated :) Hope you enjoy this chapter_

 **Pansy POV**

"So it was about the fucking battle!" I exclaim. "I knew it! I knew it!"

I realize I sound about five years old, but I'm panicking and Hermione can tell. I feel her hands on both my shoulders.

"Shhhh. Pansy we cannot be heard by anyone."

I look into her eyes and for the first time since I've known Hermione, since I've watched her battle the dark lord and dementors and whatever other demons Hogwarts had for her, I see fear.

Hermione lets go of me and presses her fingers to her temple. "Fuck." She whispers and I swear she sounds like she's about to cry.

I hear a crash from down the hall and Hermione visibly jumps. She stiffens, holds herself straight and then brings her palm to her cheek, slapping herself hard.

I lunge forward and grab her hand. "What the hell are you doing?" I hiss at her. "You cannot have a mental breakdown on me now."

But I regret my word choice when I see the tears sliding down her cheeks.

"We're dreaming right, just again. This is just a dream like the other times." She says more to herself than to me.

My chest aches slightly and despite our argument from before this whole catastrophe I soften my voice.

"Do you dream about this a lot?"

She looks at me strangely, "Don't you?"

I want to tell her I wasn't here and I'm sorry. I'm sorry but I dream about other things much more real to me. But I don't. After Dennis she doesn't need another reminder of a past me.

"Hey," I say soft again, "We'll get out of here. I swear." And then despite how dumb it sounds I carry on, "I won't let anything happen or well I'll let things happen, but as they were supposed to You know things that didn't already happen, I won't let those….." I stumble for a second until I see the soft smile playing on Hermione's lips. I grab her arm. "I mean I won't let anything happen to you." I smile back at her. "Promise."

My words seem to calm her down and she sighs. "How the fuck are we supposed to get out of here?"

I blink and look around though I doubt the answer is just written on a wall somewhere.

 _Phae went back and fought._

My eyes widen as I remember Rowena's words in the carriage.

"Wait!" I say to Hermione. "Phae, or well Rowena, she told me that Phae went to fight. If what you said is true and Phae has been using that time turner for a while then she'll have it on her tonight. We just need to steal it from this present day Phae."

Hermione stares at me for a long time and I start to feel self-conscious as if I've just said the dumbest plan even Weasley could have dreamed up but then her face breaks into a smile.

"Pansy!" She exclaims. "That's brilliant!"

I feel myself blush.

"We just have to figure out how to find Phae without being seen." She frowns.

"I can go." I say in a rush. "I wasn't here that night so if someone sees me it's not like they'll be seeing double. It's less likely to impact anything if I get caught. You were more important than me that night."

Hermione opens her mouth to either agree or protest but I add in,

"Anyways, I can just pretend I came back on the dark lord's side."

She glares at me and I think it's for my use of _the dark lord_ which I inwardly curse myself for.

"No." Hermione says firmly.

"Sorry?" I cross my arms.

"Pansy," Hermione sighs, "if you get caught you can't pretend you're back to fight for Voldemort. Once we get back to the present day you'll be in prison."

"Well what am I supposed to say?" I throw my hands up. "Hi just taking a midnight stroll through the castle!"

Hermione rolls her eyes at me. "We don't have time to argue but I am not having you arrested when we get back."

She reaches for my hand.

"We don't even know if I will get caught." I hiss. "Anyways what do you care? You were more than happy to believe everything Dennis was saying about me, that I'm _evil_ remember."

Hermione avoids what I'm saying. "Say you came back to fight for us." She says firmly.

"As if anyone would believe that. As if you would even believe that if I ran into you." I sneer.

Hermione stares at me hard. "Pansy you've changed. But what am I supposed to react like when I hear you've used the cruciatus curse on first years!"

My chest explodes and I step back as if slapped.

"You don't know a fucking thing about that year. Last time I checked you were on holiday with Potter."

"Last time I checked," Hermione seems more on edge than I've ever seen her. "You were about to give us over to _the dark lord_." She mimics my voice on the last three words.

I look away, anywhere but her. I step away, anywhere but her.

"Fine." I can hear how pathetic my own voice sounds.

"Pansy, I…." Hermione's voice sounds meek now. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm scared, I…."

"You're scared!" I scream at her, and I notice her desperately looking around to see if anyone has heard us. "I'm the one who's scared tonight! I'm the one who…" But I stop mid-sentence and before I can stop myself I'm walking away from her. She doesn't try to stop me, only calls after me.

"Pansy!"

I look at her with tears threatening to spill over the edges of my eyes.

"Pansy, don't go." She sounds scared again. "That's what Phae wants. She wants you to try and change things."

I glare at her and when I speak my voice is absolute steel.

"So do you apparently."

I flick my wand and disapparate, leaving Hermione's cries behind me. I'm going there, I think. I'm going to the great hall. If Hermione can't forgive me, I'll make it so she never has to.

 **Hermione POV**

Pansy disappears and I'm left standing behind the knight statue alone. Fuck. She's gone to the great hall, she's going back to change things. As much as I want to forgive Pansy, it seems like there's new information each day that stops me. From the day I walked past Pansy on the Hogwarts Express I promised myself I had already forgiven her for the words, for the trying to give Harry over (we were all scared that night), but there are some things that can't be so easily forgive. I remember our defense lesson fourth year, the unforgivable curses, and hear my own voice - "named so because the use of them is unforgivable." But did I really believe that? Harry had used one, and though I had never I had wiped my own parent's memories. Surely that curse could as well be counted. Though I managed to return those memories later, I still had nightmares of me searching, never finding. But to use those types of spells on first years….could I forgive that? Whether or not I can or will be able to is a question I have to push in the back of my mind however. Pansy is gone and despite her desire to change the past, I know she cannot do so without forever marking the future. On the nights I don't dream of my parents, I dream of this battle, of returning here and not succeeding, of returning here and having things change. I can't live in a dream that becomes a reality. So I move to pull out my wand to follow Pansy, but as I attempt to reach my pocket I find that I have once again become frozen as in the Ravenclaw's common room. Dread hits me with the force of stone.

"Granger." Phae steps out from the other side of the marble statue. "I thought I told you two to work together."

I clench my teeth. "For that I need to find her. Let me go." I say the words boldly despite my own fear.

But Phae simply giggles. "But I haven't even begun to tell you everything."

I feel the desire to lunge at her, but in my frozen state the best I can do is glare.

"Oh come on," Phae continues. "Aren't you the least bit curious, intellectual curiosity Hermione, what I'm doing."

She laughs. "The time turner we used to get here," She pulls out the golden one and then stuffs it back in her pocket and smirks. "Your theory was wrong. It's completely normal. I can only go back in time, no special abilities here!" She then dips into the pocket of her black robes pulling out a small silver object, decorated with green emeralds and a white crystal centerpiece with sand. "This one is the special one. This is the one I really use. It allows me to travel through people's memories. So much easier than a normal time turner." She giggles. "It's like a failsafe, you can change whatever you want and you'll never be affected. I can change people's memories, erase them, do whatever I want with them really. It's so much more precise than those obliviate spells don't you think."

She smirks and despite myself I struggle against the spell holding me which only seems to transform her smirk into a full blown grin.

"And the best part," She continues. "Is that I can't be seen. I invented it that way of course." She beams as if she is waiting for me to congratulate her on her achievement.

"Oh come on! Your eyes don't even seem shocked. It's impressive! I spent my life working on it. That's why I keep the gold one around. I've spent years just re-doing days over and over again to give me more time to work on the memory turner." She laughs. "And all you could think to do was take a few extra classes, aren't you supposed to be the bright one."

She begins placing the turner around my neck and I let out a small whimper.

"Oh don't worry." She says. "We're not going into your memories. Pansy's will do."

She starts turning the small crystal and whispers an incantation to it, I recognize the words vaguely as Latin though I can't translate it. The only words I know for sure are the ones she says at the end - _Pansy Parkinson_

My knees buckle beneath me as the floor seems to sink and the walls slide into each other. I scream and despite my own best efforts to stay brave, desperately clutch onto Phae. Suddenly, we're both plunged into darkness. I feel us drift for a few seconds and not even Phae seems able to move, then the colors start up again and whirl into various shapes and figures. I blink rapidly and I hear Phae's voice in my ear,

"Well here we are. In Pansy's memories."

We're standing in a kitchen. The first thing I notice is that the floors are a black polished marble and that the countertops match that exact shade, even the windows seem dark though the curtains flow like silver wisps. There's a tall and wiry woman standing in the middle of the room, looking directly at us. I feel a sudden urge to throw myself out of the line of the woman's gaze, but Phae is holding me stationery. She's surprisingly strong and despite my struggles I can't get out of her grasp, I think about calling out to the woman for help but when my eyes lock on hers I realize with disturbance that she's not looking at me, rather directly past me. I whirl around and Phae spins with me. There behind me is the girl I recognize from eight years ago walking into the great hall - Pansy.

"She can't see us, they both can't." Phae whispers vindictively into my ears.

"Pasny!" The woman snaps and I shudder at the tone of her voice, but the young Pansy just stares up at the woman without expression as if she is used to the vocals.

"What is it mum?"

"Who is that Hermione Granger girl you go to school with? Someone at the ministry was talking about her today, says she's the brightest witch in your class."

I expect past Pansy to act like the present day Pansy, curse me out or say some sarcastic remark but this Pansy just beams at the sound of my name.

"Yeah mum she is! We walked into the great hall together! She's really smart and really pretty!"

I feel a pang at the last word, _Pansy thought I was pretty?_

Her mother looks unimpressed but Pansy is still beaming as if walking into the great hall with me is the most miraculous achievement of a lifetime and I can't help the blush that spreads across my cheeks when I think of how annoying a younger me was.

"Why don't we know her parents?" Pansy's mum narrows her eyes. "They must work somewhere prestigious…..why haven't I heard of the name Granger?"

Pansy simply shrugs, a habit I note which has translated into the present day.

"I dunno what her parents do. They're muggles."

At this Pansy's mum steps across the room to Pansy still standing there wide-eyed and I feel the sudden need to throw myself in front of them though I know that here I don't really exist, here I don't matter, despite the fact that in this past moment I seem to matter most to the conversation.

A slap rings out and so does a cry from Pansy who is now holding her cheek.

"You are never to speak to her or about her again. We don't associate ourselves with mudbloods."

Before I can react or say anything or catch the look on Pansy's face the room is spinning and I feel sick again. I fall against Phaedra who holds me up until our setting has morphed back into a place, wherever that may be.

We're sitting at a long kitchen table now, I recognize the familiar floor and countertops and realize we are back in Pansy's home. This time a man, presumably her father, sits next to Pansy's mother and strokes his thumb along the ridge of her fingers. I see Pansy sitting opposite them, she looks about second or third year.

"Is this a required course," her mother sighs dramatically. "We really should send an owl to that school and sort this straight, I mean it's an atrocity! Corruption at it's finest."

The man just looks warily at Pansy. "Well…." he drawls and his voice sounds strikingly similar to Pansy's own manner of speaking. "Is muggle studies a required course?"

Pansy looks at the wooden table. "No. I signed up for it."

"Then you are not to take it," he sneers. "Ever."

The room spins again and this time I manage to keep my footing. I can feel Phae's heated palm in my own still.

We're back in the great hall though this is long before the battle. I'm seated next to Pansy this time at a table of slytherins. She doesn't look at me and even if she had, she wouldn't have seen me.

"Draco," her voice sounds different when talking to him. Softer, but also in a way more forced to be so. "Draco I quite like Care of Magical Creatures, why do we have to do this?"

"To get back at Potter and his filthy mudblood friend." He spits.

Pansy rolls her eyes but I can tell from the red blush emerging beneath her collar that she's upset.

"I think we should stop calling her that."

He looks incredulously at her. "Mudblood?"

"Yeah, why bother," then she adds a second to late, "she knows what she is."

"Your parents told mine they were having trouble with you." He rolls his eyes. "Always trying to defend muggles and mudbloods. Careful," he winks at her. "You might get called a blood traitor next."

Pansy pales. "No…" she starts to stammer then regains her voice. "Draco, you know my loyalty is to you. Only you." She twirls with his hair. "How could it not be?" She kisses him on the cheek.

The room spins and I feel sick, but it's not from the constant movement but rather the situations we're encountering at the end.

We're in a classroom at Hogwarts and Pansy sits across a desk from Mad-eye, or at least the fake one. Fourth year.

"Your parents…." Mad-eye, or as I now know - Crouch, says. "They specialize in magical objects is that correct."

"Yes." Pansy nods. "They work for the ministry."

"Mmm." Mad-eye growls. "I noticed that watch on your wrist first time I saw you. That is a very valuable antique. Classically made."

"It doesn't work anymore if that's what you're after." Pansy says curtly. I'm surprised at the venom in her voice, I didn't realize she had such a hatred for Mad-eye. Though I do suppose he turned her best friend into a ferret.

"You're quite suspicious of me eh Parkinson?"

Pansy narrows her eyes, and I expect her to say something about the ferret incident but instead she says,

"I am quite suspicious of your teaching methods."

Mad-eye leans back,

"Explain."

Pansy clenches her fist as if she is nervous.

"You shouldn't be using the unforgivable curses in a classroom. It's inappropriate. Granger looked like she was about to faint."

Mad-eye seems to almost smirk, and knowing now it's Crouch I would say he does indeed smirk at her.

"And you're telling me you care about Granger?"

"What…" Pansy whitens. "No….no I...I just mean that," she straightens her back. "Most mudbloods can't handle them, not" she adds haughtily, "that they should be handling magic in the first place."

Mad-eye doesn't say anything, but instead allows her to stop squirming.

"What's in the egg?" He questions her.

The egg. The one that all the champions got.

Pansy glares back at him, "I would assume some sort of message. My parents….they have to deal with trapped messages all the time. This looks exactly like a vessel that would carry one."

"And how would your parents propose opening it?"

Pansy shrugs.

"Well then write to them and figure out Miss Parkinson and make it quick."

Pansy crosses her arms. "Why should I? I should tell Dumbledore you're helping contestants cheat."

"Do it," mad-eye growls, "and we won't have a class on how muggles we're tortured and executed in the war."

But Pansy is stoic, completely recovered from her last error.

"I don't care about that." She sighs. "My one condition is that you tell that girl how to open the egg as well."

"Fleur?" Mad-eye's eyebrows shoot up. "Am I to assume you are as taken with the veela as everyone else?"

Pansy just blinks. "Don't be asinine. I don't care for Krum. Anything to put him at a disadvantage works for my favor."

Pansy stands up to leave the room before Mad-eye stops her.

"Miss Parkinson what is it that makes you assume Miss Granger would be at a disadvantage in her ability to confront the unforgivable curses."

Pansy looks at him as if she is considering multiple answers.

"She's never had to confront them before, never had to confront anyone with the potential of using them against her. She's always lived in safety with the muggles." She spits at the last word.

"And someone has used them against you Miss Parkinson?" Mad eye questions, but Pansy is already leaving.

The room fades and I am standing in a forest next. I can see Pansy standing close to another girl from Slytherin who I recognize as Rachel Bear. I had always hated her even more than Pansy. Bear was nasty, unpredictable, and above all unintelligent. At least I had some respect for Pansy on the last quality.

"I've never done this before." I watch Pansy blush a deep shade of crimson. "What if I do it wrong."

But Rachel ignores her question and just leans in until her lips are on Pansy's. I feel my mouth fall slightly open and next to me I am sure Phae is smirking but before I can turn to her the room room whirls again and this time when I open my eyes I'm immediately confronted with the overwhelming amount of pink.

"Miss Parkinson," I hear Umbridge's familiar voice. "Pick up the pen."

A fifth year Pansy fiddles the dreaded quill through her fingers.

"Now," Umbridge goes on, her voice as curt as ever. "I want you to write out _I must not kiss girls_. One hundred times."

Pansy winces and pales at the same time, it's the most afraid I've seen her aside from the battle.

"I don't...what…."

Umbridge snaps her fingers.

"Oh love don't be foolish! I sent Rachel to you to see if you had the little 'problem' I had assumed you did."

Pansy stands up, and I silently feel a cheer escape my throat for her bravery against Umbridge.

"I am in love with Draco." She states boldly.

"Well yes my dear, I know all about the marriage contract your parents will have you sign next year," at this I don't hear the rest of her words because I turn to Phae in shock. _Marriage contract?_ Phae just has that same smirk plastered on her face and points me back to the scene where Pansy is now sitting down.

She stares at the quill again and Umbridge seems to be growing impatient.

"Well write on!"

Pansy's face flushes, "Professor." She says meekly her voice of bravery gone. "It'll scar, if my parents see…."

Umbridge just smirks and I feel an overwhelming desire to hurl one of her glass plates directly at her face.

"Well," She taps her hands. "There is one other way you could pay for your wrongs." She reaches under her desk and pulls out a small silver badge with an I written on it. The Inquisitor squad.

"I take it," Umbridge says cheerily, "you will perform your best for this group. Even when against Granger." She tilts her head.

Pansy clenches her fist. "I'll string up that mudblood myself."

"Good." Umbridge smiles.

As Pansy turns away I notice her fist unclench and begin trembling.

The room starts to fade, but I wrap my hands around Phaedra's this time.

"Stop!" I beg her.

I can't do this anymore, forced or not, I can't invade Pansy's privacy anymore. "Please!"

Phae giggles. "We're just getting started. Do you not like what you see?"

"I'm not supposed to be seeing it!" I hiss.

"Oh shut up!" Phae exclaims. "You're relieved you are. Thrilled Pansy is maybe redeemable."

I flinch visibly at Phae's words, because although the invasion of Pansy's innermost thoughts has made me nauseous, I can't help but find truth in Phae's words. I am relieved. I want to find Pansy and to hug her, to hold her, to tell her….But I stop myself when I catch Phae's facial expression.

"Exhilarating isn't it?" She breathes. "Being able to know people like this?"

A disturbing thought finds its way into my throat and before the fear can stop me I am saying it aloud.

"That's….that's what you've done to Rowena."

Phae smiles and I'm surprised at the kindness she manages to plaster onto her face.

"Oh yes. Rowena's quite loyal to me now and me only." She gives another short breath. "If you're able to know everything about someone you're able to do whatever you want with them. Knowing is just another way to say controlling."

I step back from Phae slightly.

"That's not true."

Phae laughs. "Course it is! Come on!"

She grabs my hand and before I can scream or protest we are in a different room at Hogwarts. I am vaguely aware of people crying before the images form in place. Pansy is standing over the bodies of Colin and Dennis Creevey. A few more students whimper in the background.

"Do you know?" Pansy screams to all of them. "Why you're here?"

She stands over one small first year threateningly. He whimpers, "because we're muggle-born."

Pansy rolls her eyes. "Use the correct words."

"Because we're…. Mudbloods." He starts crying.

Pansy grins. "Exactly."

I whip my eyes over to Phae. "You're making this one up!" I shout at her angrily.

Phae snorts. "Doubtful. See," she grins widely, a cheshire cat grin, "I made you believe Pansy was good. Now I can make you believe she's bad. I can do whatever I want. But what I want is to show you the truth. And this," she motions to Pansy with her wand raised, "is the truth."

I stare at her for a few moments and then look back to Pansy who is leaning over Dennis, whispering something in his ear. I imagine her telling him what she told me all those years, that I didn't deserve magic, calling me horrendous names, telling me I was ugly, horrid, only smart because I was scared they were going to kick me out - this one hurt particularly horribly. But then I picture Phae sitting with Umbridge, at that kitchen table, next to me in the great hall. And I picture her moments before we came here to the battle, _-maybe you make all your own villains._

I wrap my arms around Phae, pulling her closer to me.

"You have." I say into her ear and I feel her slightly relax. "You have shown me the truth. Thank you."

And before Phae can respond or do anything, I rip the time turner from around her neck and spin the dial. I hear her scream and lunge at me, but the room has faded along with her in it.

I spin and I spin, not thinking, just trying to get away from Phae, away from Pansy's memories, even though I know that's impossible. I'm crying and spinning the turner, my hands shaking until I glance down at them and realize what I'm doing - how many times I've spun it. I let it fall from my hands so that it's around my neck. I look wildly around to see where I am.

"Hermione!" I hear Pansy call.

I whirl around expecting to be back at the battle but as my eyes re-adjust I realize that I'm some place I don't recognize, some living room on some staircase.

"Hermione!" I hear Pansy call again.

There's traffic in the distance and a strangely familiar sense of suburban air.

"There you are!" I spin to see Pansy walk in, only this seems to be a future Pansy. She doesn't look any different age-wise, I must not have gone that far from present day, rather she looks changed. Softer, more open, more vulnerable, and still more confident. All of a sudden I feel an ache in my chest and realize that someone is stepping right through me as if I am a ghost, which in many ways I am. I watch the figure with her back to me, with my back to me - because this figure which has stepped through me is me. It's me with my hair straightened, in jeans and a button down top, and pale blue coat. I watch myself walk down the stairs and to Pansy. I watch Pansy's fingers slide through my own.

"You look beautiful." She says to me. And my chest explodes, though this time no one has walked through me or come anywhere near me.

And then Pansy Parkinson wraps her hands around my cheeks and kisses me gently on the lips.

The room begins to fade and I realize I have subconsciously spun the turner backwards two ticks. Fuck, I think. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I brace myself for another strange place, another strange scene, another….whatever that was. But when I open my eyes, I realize I am back.

Not to the present, but to the past, to the great battle where I left Pansy. Pansy who is now rushing to change her future, to change our future.

I sprint to go find her.


End file.
